At the point which “the system” gets involved, you are now under a microscope. It would benefit you to be aware of your actions at all times. You now have no room for error and you will be expected to play by societies rules. A good place to start is visits. You will be expected to show up every time.
Flu bug got you down? No money for gas? Flat tire? Buses running late? Earthquake? Tornado? Tsunami? No excuse for not attending a visit. No matter what the reason for your absence from the visit, it will be noted and remembered. Consequently, if you make them “when you can” those wont be as noticed as the missed ones. Just noted.
Arrive early. Always, be 30 minutes early. It’s best that you are the one waiting not the children. Children don’t like to wait, and it will be noticeable if they are unhappy because you were late. If there is risk of traffic, plan for it. Again, no excuse will suffice. Be early.
Bring a snack for the kids and their favorite toys. The visit is for them. Make it fun, so they feel relaxed. Remember they miss you terribly, so help them ease this difficult situation by bringing things they like. Make sure the snack is nutritious. Fruit, nuts, veggie sticks, crackers. When possible stay away from sugary items, as the Foster parents will have to pay the consequences of hyped up kids.
A word about Foster parents, they are caring for your children. Treat them with the utmost respect. They may not parent the way you would like, but they are caring for the ones you love more than anyone. Don’t speak poorly of them in front of or to your children.
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